13 Months (don’t believe it)

Coaching Under The Machine

Here’s what I think. When you really get into the truth of it all, the world starts chatting you up.

A song will come on that provides a perfect insight. Somebody will say something that will demonstrate something uniquely in your favor. A written phrase on a menu will remind you of an important commitment. A gift will come at a time and place that provides a special message.

You realize: Let Life Lead You.

You are in tune with a love that loves you back, so hard. And you just pray, pray, pray you can love the world at the same level as that love…that love…just pouring in.

And in this magical flow state, it’s none of my business, ultimately, whether I live or die. 

THE MOMENT EVERYTHING CHANGED

This is how it happened for me. 

Meditating, yoga, my practice. Barefoot in the grass. And then, just like that: “Divine Mother, I am now entirely yours.”

I felt, finally, that I no longer had attachment to anything that was not the will of God. I felt, finally, an immense freedom and a humble devotion. 

It didn't last more than a few minutes, but it was there - the seed was planted. It was now my job to care for that seed, to water it, to love it. This is where I must learn to live. 

I pray: let me live only to serve. The timeline is Yours - the beginning, and the end. . 

WHAT’S UP, CANCER BOY?

The numbers are rising. Uh oh. Chemo starts Monday. And…it’s starting to get a little tricky. Chemo is not considered as effective as it is for other cancers. Pluvicto is better but not yet approved before chemo. What to do?

Dozens of people have ventured advice and information, which I love. Not all of it is relevant, but good stuff gets through, and we put it into place. 

The money is a big part of this all, and a great lesson in working less but working smarter, and asking for help. Cancer takes a LOT of time out of each day. 

There is a “standard of care” most physicians are obligated to follow for insurance purposes, but this isn’t always what your entire medical team thinks is best. It’s complicated, and it’s complicated in different ways for different people. 

The pain in my body; this is new. I have a strategy…every time I feel a twinge, I send love and gratitude that this pain represents healing. Thank you, pain, for your message and your teachings.

Another insurance coverage win: daily hyperthermia treatments. If I can manage to keep up with affording the infusions and supplements, combined with chemo and hyperthermia, this month could be the definitive moment in my healing.

REVELATION: MY GIFT TO YOU.

So, from now on, it’s all about YOU. I have received so much, and it’s your turn.

Every one of you will receive a call, text or email from me, inviting you to connect with me for a half hour over the holidays and on into 2025, if you wish. Let’s do this. I have lots of time lying in my treatment machines, and driving to and from them. 

LEGACY.

December is also the month I need to generate the most money for treatment. With my desire to have my legacy be one of service, I created this online course for all to enjoy. 

Then, let’s book our call. I want to talk with as many of you as possible in the next few months. 

Do you know someone who could benefit from what I offer? (Yes, I have a new website.)

A LESSON: THE CANCER PARADOX

Tell those you love: the decisions that you are required to make, decisions that can seem to be life or death,  benefit from you being a “difficult patient” A patient who challenges, asks questions, does his own research, and is proactive in research and lifestyle. 

I ask so many questions; doctors have been, more than once, increasingly curt. I stick with the patient ones, like my old friend Dr. Twardowski, who actually likes that I am bringing in new studies to review. 

There may also be a killer stress state that runs you without you even knowing it. 

I actually blew up yesterday to an online community member in a way I haven’t done in years. I lost my shit, and then spent the rest of the night in retreat from reality with food and TV, hiding from whatever horrible emotion I would have done well to just feel. “I forgive myself for judging myself as…” The next day, I resolved to repair and do better. I can do hard. Except when I can’t…and everything changes.

Ultimately, my cancer journey benefits from living into a great paradox: being highly engaged in creating and believing myself as healed, while being in complete surrender to whatever happens. 

When the stakes are life and death, this game is being played at a whole other level emotionally and intellectually, but spiritually, you are always just fine.